Body Image and BOYS!!!

One's  body image...
I grew up having issues with body image.
I had issues when I most likely did not need to develop issues.
I was bombarded with Seventeen magazine photographs showing slender and toned bodies.
I was surrounded by slim or athletic classmates.
At home, however, I noticed that my gene pool was far from the runway models or friendship circle.
Both sides of my family struggled with weight.
The family tree, from both my parents, leaned a wee bit heavy on the scale.

Exercise became a natural part of my lifestyle, as I enjoyed to move.
Nutritional changes, however, were always a challenge.
I grew up thinking that issues with one's body image were mostly gender specific.
Women suffered the brunt of it.
Women obsessed about the scale.
Women looked at quick ways to trim fat (skipping meals, laxatives, smoking, protein powders, puking).
Infomercials targeted women.
Advertising targeted women.
I have to admit that am shocked I came out of all this somewhat unscathed.
I don't have an eating disorder.
I do struggle with my own sense of body image.
It has been more than 20 years I have not joined the latest diet trend from cookies to muffins to protein packs.
I exercise. My fridge is full of veggies and fruits. I bake lighter variety of treats.
I am fully aware that I am not as trim as media wishes for me to be.
I am also astonished at seeing fewer and fewer slim women around me.
The first sizes to leave the clothes racks are 12 and 14.
Who knew?
What happened to the 1990s size ZERO?

As parent of two boys, I am now privy to the male psyche and the male world.
My eldest attends an all boys academy and I am that much more informed of the male culture and recent male trends.
I have alarming news to share.
Boys have issues with body image too!!!
Boys obsess about their weights and their appearance too.
Boys are well versed with low-carbing, skipping meals, increasing activity levels, and jumping on the latest infomercial band wagon!!
Boys are held to some pretty high standards.
There’s the NFL showing impossibly large men with astounding speed.
Men's Health magazine covers preach “Get a Better Body.”

Check out some of these facts:
Nearly 1/3 of teen boys try to control their weight in unhealthy ways, like skipping meals, taking laxatives, or smoking (Neumark-Sztainer, 2005).
25% of anorexic and bulimic adults and 40% of binge eaters are men (Harvard, 2007).
60% of preteens and teens feel that they weigh too much and that their lives would be improved if they could attain their goal weight (Pangea Media, 2009).

In essence, unhealthy perceptions of one's body image is a concern. For BOTH genders.
That being said, I am concerned the issue is far more troublesome for boys.
Unlike girls, boys express themselves less openly about concerns they may be having.
Male body image isn’t something that’s talked about that often.
Adolescent sons are not verbose.
All too often they try to “solve” body problems on their own.

Dialogue is key to resolve this troubling trend.
Talking about the importance of what a body can do versus what a body should look like is imperative to a healthy lifestyle.

Common Sense Media suggests the following tips for parents of high school kids:


•Check in. Ask your son if friends use risky methods to control weight. Since boys will talk more easily about other people than themselves, you can get more information by asking about what their friends do. Ask: Are any of your friends using steroids or supplements? Working out too much? Talking about “purging” after a pig out? If so, ask your son how he feels about it and whether he’s ever been tempted to engage in any of these behaviors.

•Check for signs. Sudden weight loss, dramatically increased workouts, large muscle growth, and radically altered eating patterns are just a few signs of eating disorders or potential steroid or supplement use. If you think your son is at risk, make a doctor’s appointment immediately. This is critical not only for your son’s health, but also for his mental well being, since eating disorders create a lot of feelings of shame. Sometimes your child might be more forthcoming with a health professional than with you, for fear of either letting you down or being criticized.

The young men may be the silent type.
That does not mean they need to be ignored!
Advertisers are overlooking this gender group.
Dove commercials are bombarding the media scene to regulate a young girl's self-concept and self-perception.
But what about our boys?
Who is keeping an eye on them?

Photography and the intimate space.

I dabble in photography.
My earliest memory was handling a 1960s Nikon SLR which belonged to my father.
I was 9 at the time.
I discovered that I enjoyed seeing the world through a lens.

I also discovered the difficulties and heart aches handling such a camera.

The film being stuck and over exposed.

The disappointment of knowing those memories were gone and never to be seen again.

Since then, I have handled a great many cameras and with mixed blessings switched from film to digital photography.

In 2000, I was given a digital Canon SLR as a gift with a series of lenses.

With all the manual features at hand, I knew I needed guidance.

With the help of a wonderful instructor, I discovered my camera and the world that awaited to be captured.

I developed my style and noticed I had a natural gift to capture faces and most importantly to capture feelings.

My sons were great subjects with whom to practice this new interest and hobby.
The use of various lenses enabled me to get as close or as far as I wished.








Having dated for the past 5 years, I have had the pleasure of photographing men and capturing a moment in time, shared by both. A certain look, a certain stance, a certain reflective moment, perhaps a smile, or maybe even a smirk. I often wondered what would become of these pictures once the relation dwindled.

Well, most often than not, those same photographs haunted me for years as I saw them being posted on dating sites and social networking sites. I often wondered if the new catch would notice that she was staring at a reflection of an intimate moment shared by two.

Most recently, I photographed a close friend.
I have immense affinity for this individual.
We have shared some great times and have seen each other through some tough times.
He was looking to have some outdoor shots taken of himself.
Tremblant as a backdrop, I took a series of 50 images.
He was beaming with the result and was grateful for the experience.
He liked how he was perceived through my lens.
I was able to capture a side of him he barely knew.

As his good friend, I was able to closely watch the reaction from the single women who roamed his social network site. Sure enough, my questions were answered.
Single women do watch for nuances in photographs.
Single women are sensitive and CRAZY enough to create a story board behind each image in their MINDS.
Single women are not at ease with those intimate images.
I think single women would prefer to see self-portraits of their suitor at  "ARM" distant lens angles.
One single woman, in particular, wrote to him " you must have some special lady in your life"!

I do believe that a photograph speaks volumes.
I am happy to capture faces and places.
I am proud to offer them as gifts to lovers, friends and family.
Often times, a photograph is a slice of time to be cherished for a lifetime.
The memorable ones often are those taken intimately...perhaps by surprise or by orchestration.
Ultimately, those are the ones we cherish the most!