What is UP with dating in 2010!?!!?

This Princess wants to meet someone.

She wants to meet her very own FROG.

He does not have to be PERFECT.

Is it too much to ask for a gentleman, with integrity who holds down a REAL JOB? Never mind bigger issues like his extended family, his neurosis, his religion, his X-wife or his MOTHER.

This Princess wants companionship.

She wants intellectually charged exchanges.

To make matters worse, this princess has issues of her own which make it difficult to meet and mingle.

Imagine?

She works out of her home.
She is a single mother with full custody of two boys.
She is not in the habit of hanging at bars...although, the local SAQ (aka liquor store) is another kettle of fish!

So what is a Princess to do in 2010?
She can NAG her friends to death to set her up. Futile approach, thus far.
Or she can take matters into her own hands, by getting online, on sites such as Match.com, eHarmony, Plenty Of Fish, Jdate, OkCupid etc...
Some of these sites are free, while others are membership based.

Talking to a few friends here and there, and reflecting on the last batch of candidates, the consensus was that a paid site would bring a higher calibre of people, who are serious, employed ( yes, believe it or not, it's harder than you think to find a gainfully employed man) and searching for a commitment.

Oh no!!! Did I just use the "C" word????

Well, Match.com is like Malaria.com.
Single folks go there to DIE! Nothing moved on that site, in Canada, that is.
I did meet two friends on Match...but they both happen to live in the great U.S of A.

Jdate.com is like playing musical chairs in my backyard.

It just feels WRONG.

Perhaps the fact that I have worked for the Jewish community for close to 19 years and seen throngs of once happy, married people, now  with mug shots on Jdate stating their recent divorced status...makes it somewhat unappealing. The community is so small and tight, I may run the risk of dating some Jewish man, and his X-wife might be my neighboor or his child, my student.

Who needs that???
No, seriously?

eHarmony has the best advertising around. eHarmony is unique in that the matching service doesn't promote the "hook-up" culture. According to the company's mission statement, their goal is to "help couples achieve stronger, healthier and happier marriages."
They offer psychological tests to brand you as a Type A or B personality.

Well, it's been two months I have been on that lovely site.
Apparently, according to their data, I am well suited for a HUNKY firefighter who wants to be my Oral Slave, run my errands and scrub my bathroom floors NAKED while I berate him fully clothed.
And if that's not bad enough, he wants  me to keep looking for an alternate lover, as he candidly shared that he has sexual limitations.

Furthermore, if I was really KIND, I would allow him to remain in my closet, NAKED, while he eavesdrops on me with another man.
...And to think I have 10 more pre-paid months of this quality membership to look forward to...SIGH.

.

..So it appears Plenty of Fish is looking not too shabby.

The pond hosts the same paying crowd from all those other paying sites (yes the Firefighter is here too!) to a series of married men, parading as single fuckers.
This pond is your OYSTER!
It hosts a series of images, most often shirtless images.
FYI my dear SINGLE dude, women like the concept of shirt on, as it leaves something to our imagination!!
Anything swims in this pond.
It should have a warning sign saying "Swimmers, Beware"!

So here I am, Caspian Princess, posting her profile giving a glimpse of who I am.
I did mention my passion with ingredients and kitchen gadgets, my love for nature etc...
Most weeks, I receive a dozen NEW emails from Happy Fishies who say the following to woe this Princess:

"You're cute. Wanna fuck?" or "I live in NDG, is that near you for a quickie?" or "Hey, wasss ur fav position?"

And once I was really lucky, the Happy FISH READ MY PROFILE and said the following:

"How about you invite me over, COOK for me ( a tiny reference to my profile. Oh joy! Oh bliss!) and then we can fuck".
This one was a class act, indeed.

I know weirdos exist in all walks of life.
I know not everyone can run spell check on their sentence, prior to pressing "SEND".
It takes effort.
Who has time for that?
Better to look like an iliterate.
I also know that I am a modern woman, which means that I can make the bold move to reach out to a suitable candidate. As sarcastic as that may have sounded, I am a wee bit traditional in nature. My Caspian heritage kicks in every now and then...

That being said, would you believe it if I told you that many of my emails get deleted prior to having been READ!
What ever happened to courtesy and being a gentleman?

So...
I think that MEN have forgotten the ART of dating.

I think that MEN should drop their fancy mobile devices and or any type of electronic gadget and perhaps walk over to their local bookstore and pick up a much needed self-help book on how to converse with the opposite sex.
I am sure they have a kindle version too!!!

Listen, read and INHALE the advice.

It sure beats whatever it is you think you are doing.

As for THIS Princess, clearly the online venue is not a match made in heaven.

Perhaps, this Princess needs to head to some castle far far away and mingle with some royalty who have yet to swim in a cesspool!

That or... becoming a NUN.
Call me Sister Caspian!


Could I be THIS lucky in a convent?? Or is this really my firefighter dressed like a priest?