Well, I am here to tell you it is! I have a close male friend, with whom I laugh, I share, I cry, I banter and I TRUST. He is my go to person when things are falling apart in my crazy dating world, and vice-versa. We have been known to call each other at 1 am in hysterical states….my boys can vouch for me! Unlike Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, we managed to stay friendly without any sexual overtones. I won’t lie to you either …we initially met for dating purposes and quickly realized we were meant to be GREAT friends.
Now here is why I think it’s important for every woman to have a male friend. This male friend can teach you about planet Mars. He can shed light on the simplicity of a guy’s head space when it comes to dating. He can let you in on the characteristics of a serial dater, the promiscuous dater, the serious dater, the emotionally detached dater, the hook-up dater and the LIAR dater!!! He lets you in on what turns a guy on, what turns him off. If nothing else, he can scout the guy for you first and tell you “with whom you will be dealing”-this before the actual date. My friend can LOOK at eyes and tell ALL!!!
For instance, too needy-defined as too many calls, too many texts, too many long long texts are a NO NO!! Too independent-defined as won’t return your calls, too hot to trot is also a turn-off. No mental stimulation-defined as intellectual repartees and you have a hook-up set up. Sending nude shots of oneself will not a long-term relationship make, especially if those pictures are sent out prior to meeting the gentleman. Talk too much about your kids on the first date and watch the man run like WILD. Too close to your X-husband and watch as he slithers away. Refer to his work environment as HIS BUBBLE and hear him say BUH BYE!
The funny thing is most of what I said seems like common sense. Yet, my friend will unveil example after example of women failing those basic dating protocols. Some of these women are divorcées, some with kids, some without, some successful professionals and/or cougars. His sample size is quite attractive. Yet there is one common thread with all these women. They fall quickly for the man-defined as four or five dates and a woman will use words like “am falling” for you. They come on, at first, as strong, self-confident, self-reliant woman with a busy life and within weeks they seem to have NOTHING better to do than to obsess about these MEN. The women, also, have a gift of penmanship…long, over drawn letters expressing their disapproval mixed in with their affinity of the man in question. Most of the diatribes I have read, thanks to my dear friend, are frightening to read out loud.
The kicker…I have been known to send out those same letters. Moral of the story dear women, gain some perspective by having a close male friend who will point you to the mirror every once in a while to shed some light on what you be doin’ wrong on this blessed dating scene. It’s a jungle out there…learn the rules of the game. By the way, men see facial hair…keep it in check ladies!!! Won’t even mention issues with south of the border…I hear Brazil is a nice place!
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