Mother and Son time, in Toronto!

As a mother, it is often a challenge to spend quality time with both my sons. As they are getting older, I see the importance of giving each child individual attention. Seeing as my youngest is the quiet, introverted of the two, he is often "ignored" and least likely to gain my attention. My eldest son, first born and gifted with a strong personality, is demanding of attention and interactions. Add to the mix the life of a single parent, one quickly realizes the challenge to set some semblance of balance in the household.
Fear not, it can be done...

I decided to fly with my youngest to Toronto for four days, to celebrate my sister's birthday, her dog "Happy's" birthday and still manage to spend some one on one time with my kidlink.
Clearly, one still needs to multi-task for best results!!

I am happy to report that I learned a lot interacting with my son. As quiet and discreet as he may be in our busy household, I discovered that he loves to talk intimately about things in his life, issues about being in a divorced household, sharing his interests ( now that no one else is competing for my attention), having a voice ( and at times a loud one at that!). Most of all, I was shocked to see how little he is given choices back home. During our trip, he was astonished when asked simple questions like what do you want to eat, where do you want to eat, what movie do you wish to see, what would you like to visit today?

As a mother, it's a rude awakening. My son blossomed on this trip. We both realised how easy it is to let the quiet one in the family go unnoticed.

Together, we roamed the streets of Yorkville, discovering The Royal Ontario Museum. My little guy soaked up The Natural History Museum. We spent three hours roaming the multi-level complex with HIM in mind. He chose his path, he chose where we lingered, what we read, where we discussed. I stood in wonder noticing how MUCH he knew about our world, about history...he is a walking wealth of knowledge!! A proud moment for this mom.

Along the way, I discovered with bright eyes that he has an eye for fashion. This little guy enjoyed window shopping along Bloor Avenue. He saw this princess eyeing a purse store. It didn't take him long before we entered the store and he began roaming the aisles scanning the purses and picking one up. "Mama, check this out! It will look great on you this Spring!"

When did THAT happen? When did this little guy develop an interest in fashion? The shop keeper was stunned and quickly realized that this kid was more likely to seal the sale than she ever could. I walked out with a canary yellow, fine leather purse, accessorised with a matching wallet....just in time for SPRING!

I wasn't all that shocked to see that along with his EYE for fashion, he has an EYE for composition. He grabbed my SLR and soon began fiddling with the features, snapping away at landscapes, Happy's mutt face, and people! I am not photogenic and hate most photographs taken of me...BUT....am proud to say this little guy took some awesome shots of his MAMA. When did that happen???

Meal times were perfect opportunities to chat and talk intimately about issues that trouble him at school or at home. He had a voice! He noticed he had undivided attention. He had an audience.

Moral of the story, as a mother we have telling jobs raising our kids to the best of our abilities.

Never mind clothing them, feeding them and tucking them into bed...I was reminded at how important it is to listen to our kids, give each child an opportunity to choose, decide without the circus-like behaviour of the regular household. Most of all, the quiet ones need our ATTENTION the most. It's too easy to let them slip away!!! Way too easy...

Loyalty

What is loyalty and why is it so hard to find, in our day and age?

Loyalty, also called allegiance or truth, is faithfulness or a devotion to a person or cause.

The definition sounds warm and fuzzy. It allows you to show a person or a cause that THEY matter, that they are chosen amongst a group of others.

Our society is drowning with all sorts of loyalty programs and we are bombarded with messages preaching us to nurture the sacred bonds or relations we share with close friends, significant others, family members, colleagues and employers.

In essence, we are reminded of the importance of showing allegiance to a chosen, special being or cause.

Yet as a friend most recently put it, our current reality is that of a society whose social fabric is deteriorating rapidly. Ethics, morals and standards are few and far between. It almost appears as if it's each man for his own.

Medical cures on this planet are not discovered by ONE.

Inventions are not created by ONE.

Networking is unsuccessful all by one's lonesome.

We need each other.

It's the nature of the animal kingdom.

So why is it that in our current times, with things moving as fast as they are, mankind has yet to figure this out. Team building, networking, making friendships should be treated with a sense of allegiance.

Find ways to respect the union or tie or connection. Nurture that relation with loyalty and avoid taking it for granted by taking stupid risks or putting selfish needs in the forefront.

Let me ask you this, in our MOST disposable world, what is one's motivation to stick around folks who take some for granted, feed some to wolves or are self-involved at all times, all in the name of moving ahead regardless of who one hurts in the process?

Heated Yoga

This princess from the Caspian Sea is a wee bit high strung. LIES. Alright, I will confess to being highly high strong. Truths! Sitting in peace, watching my mind’s eye, breathing to reach a deep relaxation takes EFFORT. A lot of it. Mix in issues with flexibility since childhood and one can quickly understand the logic behind searching, finding and grasping for peaceful times, moments and aids.


Unlike some folks on this planet, I have chosen to steer clear from lorazepam or alcohol to chill the nerves and relax my soul. Sure a glass of red is nice, but the effects only last for so long. As for my lack of flexibility, I will confess to regular massotherapy to release tense muscles.

The past two weeks I have been searching for a place where I would feel at ease with my lack of flexibility in public while embracing inner love and acceptance for who I am. Tall order if you ask me. Would this be a good time to mention I am a perfectionist; it goes against my grain to be one with my limitations in yoga, while I see people fold and contort in shapes I didn’t realize were humanly possible. Yes, I am listening to the flow of messages from my instructor to be forgiving, kind, open and ONE with where I am at. I am not.

It’s a process. Like everything else in life. I found a cute studio in NDG, highly touted by many followers. The reception staff is positive, kind and informative. The locker area is clean, with a bare minimum facility. A few studios offering different types of yoga in a heated room, with cork style flooring and mirrors on one side and window panes on the other. Once again a minimalist approach with few visible distractions to allow for one to relax, release and breathe.

Thus far, I have attended two classes. The heated element in yoga is a challenge. You are not quite sure how much or how little to wear. As a neophyte, you walk in as you would for a dance class. You place your mat on the cork floor and sit while watching all walks of life enter the room. Men don’t like to wear shirts. Just bottoms. Wow. A single girl can get used to that. Some ladies wear stringy tops and short SHORT bottoms. I am a visual being. It’s a lot of skin. Nice tattoos. Nice definition on men and women. Nice toe nails. Nice nape. Focus Princess!!! Focus on breathing! Soften your tongue and cheeks while you attempt at contorting in ways you didn’t know were possible. Too many distractions.

Twenty minutes into the class, sweat begins to pour down from the tip of one’s hair follicle all the way down to one’s toe. Breathe. The scent in the room changes. Why don’t some wear deodorant? Why won’t that man wear a shirt to catch some of his drippings? Why won’t she wipe the puddles of sweat near me? Focus on the pose at hand, Princess. One pose extends the arm a wee bit further than one is used to. Oh no, was that a GLOB of someone’s sweat that flung on my mat? This is intimate. I don’t even know your name?

I went a second time. To be fair, of course. This time it was a smaller studio with an intimate group of men and women with a hands-on instructor who clearly takes pride in her craft. I liked her teaching style. I liked that she quickly glanced at the newbies who were not as flexible as the regulars. I liked that she came by and offered alternate poses to make it less challenging and more feasible. She individualized her teaching. I liked that. I appreciated it.

Sadly, the sweat factor was worse. Buckets of sweat on either side of mats by the time the twenty minute mark hit. In some instances, as I tried to breathe and accept the tension I was feeling while creating space, I focused on feet. How many folks in this room have plantar warts? Are they treating it? Does it really matter? Do I want to walk around barefoot? I love walking around barefoot. I love the cool feel of the ground, or sand between my toes. I am not loving this sweaty cork floor.

I will go a third time. To be fair, once again. Perhaps, I will embrace this experience and become one with my PAIN. Breathe. Release. Create space.

Meantime, I have questions. In India, where the practice of yoga began, did the yogis wear sexy LULULEMONs? Did the men and women dress in minimal clothing? Are there mirrors in yoga studios in Mumbai? That being asked, if we are picking and choosing what we take from other cultures, why haven’t we thought of adding a better ventilation system in our Western World and a solution to this sweaty drippy mess. I like saunas. I like steam rooms. I do believe in detoxification. I love an intense workout where am sweating like mad. The proximity of people and the visuals while profusely sweating are not inviting to me. Bikram yoga is definitely out of the question too, for this little lady.

Perhaps, just a regular yoga class will do. Hot stone massage is a whole other story. Bring it on!

Namaste.