Before I begin my diatribe about lying, I had a sudden recall of a university class I took. The professor/psychologist, an unusual character to say the least, told a group of graduate students the relevance and importance of cheating in a classroom.
For students with learning disabilities, cheating should be seen as a remarkable learning tool and coping strategy.
I remember the first time after that lecture, when I faced a student cheating...I had different goggles on and I allowed the perpetrator to continue on his way, thinking that he pulled one over the teacher. I LIED to my student!
Truth be told, it always left me unsettled and yet I taught myself to tolerate it in those circumstances...Graduate WISDOM if you will!?!?
So how does this tie in to my thoughts on lying?
First I need to define lying.
Lying is communication with the intention of creating a false belief.
Lies are typically motivated by a desire to persuade others to act or to refrain from acting in a certain manner.
WOW! What a mouthful to lying...
But what if the person who is said to be lying, believes it to be THE TRUTH?
Conundrum indeed!
Immanuel Kant, a philosopher, once said that lying was always morally wrong. He argued that human beings are born with an "intrinsic worth" which he referred to as human dignity. To be human, said Kant, is to have the rational power of free choice; to be ethical, he continued, is to respect that power in oneself and others.
Well, at 41, I have come to notice that I have walked a pretty straight line thus far in life. I use boundaries to frame my world which dictate my behaviours and actions. I won't say it's the most exciting way to live. I will say that those implemented boundaries have kept me heading in a healthy direction for the most part of my life. My two boys are my most prized accomplishments!
I am not a Saint.
I have lied.
I also experience guilt shortly after lying.
Which I think says a lot about my ethics.
Now some people on this planet spend the better part of their existence lying profusely about everything and anything. I often wonder are they even aware of their constant lies. I am convinced that the liar sees his/her lies as the TRUTH!
Study by psychologist and lying expert Bella DePaulo explains that more than 70 percent of liars tell their lies AGAIN! She also explains that 60 percent of lies are outright DECEPTIONS!
Mind you it does not help our society, when politicians are caught lying on a daily basis and getting away with it! What about the criminals? What about the movie stars? What about Tiger WOODS? Enough said.
On the other hand, Tim C. Mazur, from the Markula Center for Applied Ethics, explains that sometimes a lie, a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive, seems the perfect response.
About 22 years ago, my husband faced a dilemma. He had something to share with me and he knew full well he ran the risk of jeopardising the relationship we had. He consulted his mother, who coached him to tell a lie in order to safe guard the relationship. Needless to say, the plan backfired and my hubby and I broke up at the time for a year before rekindling the relationship at the ripe old age of 19.
Where am I going with this?
Lies are hurtful.
If you lived all alone on an island and lied to yourself, then the deceit hurt you and only you. The minute you involve another soul into the equation, one gains nothing from lying...
And let's not forget about my good old friend KARMA.
Karma has a funny way of biting you in the ass!
At times, all hell breaks loose...
Was it all worth it in the end?
To the one who has an intrinsic moral and ethical code perhaps not...
