Willkommen to Berlin!!!

Gendarmenmarkt in Berlin-Caspian Princess Pics

Travel....what does it bring us?
I once read words by Rick Steve's who explained travel as intensified living, maximum thrills per minute and one of the last great sources of legal adventure. Travel is freedom, and recess we all need. Connecting with people from around the world, in their environment, with their customs and their way of life make one's personal life experience that much more meaningful. And lucky for me, the extrovert, it's way easy and fun!
Willkommen in Berlin!

I have been here for two days, and I have to say...it's a snazzy European city with old meets new mentality, variety in architecture, the Spree River running through it, vibrant locals with an appreciation for history, arts, music, and so much more. And to think that this city was built on the war's rubbles and fires, built upon the ashes

At first glance, driving into the city, one notices few cars on the road. Instead, many bikers, cyclist, and pedestrians roam the streets. There is a sense of decorum and respect. Berliners are proud of their city!
Interacting with the locals can seem a bit challenging at times, as they do not have a great handle on the English language, less so of French and never mind Italian and or Spanish. Expect to hear them ask you " sie sprechen Deutsch?" Asked them ``how close the museum is`` and expect them to say at 8pm. Ask them "may I join your tour group?" and they respond with "sorry it's private" as opposed to ``sure, just go sign up and the next tour starts in one hour!!`'
Few English signs. Berlin tourism could benefit from a wee bit of social graces and how to pitch a more inviting touristic atmosphere.`At the restaurant, should you dislike something or perhaps your drink was a mistake....well, too bad. You will still be responsible to pay the tab. Unlike all travel books from The Lonely Planet to Michelin guides, tipping is NOT included.That being said, unlike our Western counterparts, the locals are PLEASED with ten percent.

Brandenburg Tor-Caspian Princess Pics

I spent most of the day at the central district of Mitte, home to Brandenburger Tor, The Holocaust Memorial, The Reichstag, Gendarmenmarkt (where I am staying). Two main arteries: Unter den Lunden (to remind us of the glory days of Prussia) and Friedrichstrasse with its shops, hotels, theatres and restos.

Adlon Hotel-Caspian Princess Pics

I almost forgot to mention the famous Aldon hotel, which was rebuilt after the war. That being said Adlon is now world famous, thanks in part to the late Michael Jackson who held his infant with a blanket over her head in the most inappropriate of ways.

Tiergartn, Berlin-Caspian Princess Pics

I also spent some time in Kreuzberg (South of Mitte) which boasts a diverse group of locals (Turks, Arabs...) and yet the West side of Kreuzberg has more a bohemian chic feel to it....with popular sites like Checkpoint Charlie and the Judisches Museum. East of the Brandenburg gate, is The Central Park of Berlin called Tiergarten...perhaps not as large as the NY green space. Tiergarten is snug right next Postdamer Platz quater home of the post re-unification building project. At this site, a gorgeous soldier is stationed where once stood the famous Berlin wall dividing the East from the West. For 2 Euros 5, you can watch the soldier stamp a mock passport with 5 different stamps from the French, The Brits, The Germans and the Russians.

A tiny snapshot of a beautiful and informative city in Germany!!!

Courtesy. Does it really exist, in our day and age?

Definitions and meanings.
Are day to day words being taken for granted?
In our society, is mankind truly familiar with the meaning of words used in verbal exchanges and actions taken?

As an educator, I witness throngs of students who cannot define the lexicon of a language and muddle through it. I witness adults, who may drone the definition but have NO CLUE how to implement it in their daily lives. In essence, they may talk the talk, but not walk the talk.
And yet, we adopt these words, preaching to those around and boasting its values in our world, without a clear and full understanding of what the words truly mean...

Which brings me to my word of the day, COURTESY.
The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines Courtesy as:
           *a behavior marked by polished manners or respect for others : courteous behavior
           *a courteous and respectful act or expression
           *general allowance despite facts : indulgence
           *consideration, cooperation, and generosity in providing something (as a gift or privilege);

This Princess and her Kingdom value courtesy.
Making an effort to model courtesy to my sons is an inherent need.
Whether teaching them to hold the door open for the one behind, or expressing gratitude for an act of kindness, or simply waiting for everyone to sit at the table before digging in, are all values I deem important for my environment and those around me. Courtesy allows us to live more kindly and be more palatable to our "neighbors". Moreover, I have taught the boys that courtesy is ageless and gender neutral.
I assume that our schools follow in that trend and continue the teaching of courtesy and nurture its value.
I also assume that our ties to other souls on this planet reflect our belief system about the nature of courtesy and its relevance in maintaining healthy relations.

Hopes aside, the reality is daunting when one sees how the lack of courtesy is rampant in our society. A door gets slammed on a student by the Head of School no less, a friendship faces darkness when boundaries are crossed, an ex-lover goes out of his way to be hurtful and disrespectful as a result of his pained experience, two cars parked in the middle of an intersection to "chat" while a line up of cars builds up, the gardener mowing the client's lawn and polishing off the raspberry patch, the car that drives by a quaint suburban town tossing a banana peel out the window, the dog walker who fails to pick up his pet's droppings from a neighbour's lawn or the hate mail received on a dating site because the profile was unappealing to the senses.
Truth is, the list can be endless.

Purpose of this blog...to shed light on courtesy and challenge us, that is the "collective US".
Can we watch our actions in the next 48 hours and see if we model courtesy in our daily interactions?
Are we proud of who we are?
Are we truly courteous?
Or are we "selectively" courteous?

Courtesy begins with ME.

Body Image and BOYS!!!

One's  body image...
I grew up having issues with body image.
I had issues when I most likely did not need to develop issues.
I was bombarded with Seventeen magazine photographs showing slender and toned bodies.
I was surrounded by slim or athletic classmates.
At home, however, I noticed that my gene pool was far from the runway models or friendship circle.
Both sides of my family struggled with weight.
The family tree, from both my parents, leaned a wee bit heavy on the scale.

Exercise became a natural part of my lifestyle, as I enjoyed to move.
Nutritional changes, however, were always a challenge.
I grew up thinking that issues with one's body image were mostly gender specific.
Women suffered the brunt of it.
Women obsessed about the scale.
Women looked at quick ways to trim fat (skipping meals, laxatives, smoking, protein powders, puking).
Infomercials targeted women.
Advertising targeted women.
I have to admit that am shocked I came out of all this somewhat unscathed.
I don't have an eating disorder.
I do struggle with my own sense of body image.
It has been more than 20 years I have not joined the latest diet trend from cookies to muffins to protein packs.
I exercise. My fridge is full of veggies and fruits. I bake lighter variety of treats.
I am fully aware that I am not as trim as media wishes for me to be.
I am also astonished at seeing fewer and fewer slim women around me.
The first sizes to leave the clothes racks are 12 and 14.
Who knew?
What happened to the 1990s size ZERO?

As parent of two boys, I am now privy to the male psyche and the male world.
My eldest attends an all boys academy and I am that much more informed of the male culture and recent male trends.
I have alarming news to share.
Boys have issues with body image too!!!
Boys obsess about their weights and their appearance too.
Boys are well versed with low-carbing, skipping meals, increasing activity levels, and jumping on the latest infomercial band wagon!!
Boys are held to some pretty high standards.
There’s the NFL showing impossibly large men with astounding speed.
Men's Health magazine covers preach “Get a Better Body.”

Check out some of these facts:
Nearly 1/3 of teen boys try to control their weight in unhealthy ways, like skipping meals, taking laxatives, or smoking (Neumark-Sztainer, 2005).
25% of anorexic and bulimic adults and 40% of binge eaters are men (Harvard, 2007).
60% of preteens and teens feel that they weigh too much and that their lives would be improved if they could attain their goal weight (Pangea Media, 2009).

In essence, unhealthy perceptions of one's body image is a concern. For BOTH genders.
That being said, I am concerned the issue is far more troublesome for boys.
Unlike girls, boys express themselves less openly about concerns they may be having.
Male body image isn’t something that’s talked about that often.
Adolescent sons are not verbose.
All too often they try to “solve” body problems on their own.

Dialogue is key to resolve this troubling trend.
Talking about the importance of what a body can do versus what a body should look like is imperative to a healthy lifestyle.

Common Sense Media suggests the following tips for parents of high school kids:


•Check in. Ask your son if friends use risky methods to control weight. Since boys will talk more easily about other people than themselves, you can get more information by asking about what their friends do. Ask: Are any of your friends using steroids or supplements? Working out too much? Talking about “purging” after a pig out? If so, ask your son how he feels about it and whether he’s ever been tempted to engage in any of these behaviors.

•Check for signs. Sudden weight loss, dramatically increased workouts, large muscle growth, and radically altered eating patterns are just a few signs of eating disorders or potential steroid or supplement use. If you think your son is at risk, make a doctor’s appointment immediately. This is critical not only for your son’s health, but also for his mental well being, since eating disorders create a lot of feelings of shame. Sometimes your child might be more forthcoming with a health professional than with you, for fear of either letting you down or being criticized.

The young men may be the silent type.
That does not mean they need to be ignored!
Advertisers are overlooking this gender group.
Dove commercials are bombarding the media scene to regulate a young girl's self-concept and self-perception.
But what about our boys?
Who is keeping an eye on them?

Photography and the intimate space.

I dabble in photography.
My earliest memory was handling a 1960s Nikon SLR which belonged to my father.
I was 9 at the time.
I discovered that I enjoyed seeing the world through a lens.

I also discovered the difficulties and heart aches handling such a camera.

The film being stuck and over exposed.

The disappointment of knowing those memories were gone and never to be seen again.

Since then, I have handled a great many cameras and with mixed blessings switched from film to digital photography.

In 2000, I was given a digital Canon SLR as a gift with a series of lenses.

With all the manual features at hand, I knew I needed guidance.

With the help of a wonderful instructor, I discovered my camera and the world that awaited to be captured.

I developed my style and noticed I had a natural gift to capture faces and most importantly to capture feelings.

My sons were great subjects with whom to practice this new interest and hobby.
The use of various lenses enabled me to get as close or as far as I wished.








Having dated for the past 5 years, I have had the pleasure of photographing men and capturing a moment in time, shared by both. A certain look, a certain stance, a certain reflective moment, perhaps a smile, or maybe even a smirk. I often wondered what would become of these pictures once the relation dwindled.

Well, most often than not, those same photographs haunted me for years as I saw them being posted on dating sites and social networking sites. I often wondered if the new catch would notice that she was staring at a reflection of an intimate moment shared by two.

Most recently, I photographed a close friend.
I have immense affinity for this individual.
We have shared some great times and have seen each other through some tough times.
He was looking to have some outdoor shots taken of himself.
Tremblant as a backdrop, I took a series of 50 images.
He was beaming with the result and was grateful for the experience.
He liked how he was perceived through my lens.
I was able to capture a side of him he barely knew.

As his good friend, I was able to closely watch the reaction from the single women who roamed his social network site. Sure enough, my questions were answered.
Single women do watch for nuances in photographs.
Single women are sensitive and CRAZY enough to create a story board behind each image in their MINDS.
Single women are not at ease with those intimate images.
I think single women would prefer to see self-portraits of their suitor at  "ARM" distant lens angles.
One single woman, in particular, wrote to him " you must have some special lady in your life"!

I do believe that a photograph speaks volumes.
I am happy to capture faces and places.
I am proud to offer them as gifts to lovers, friends and family.
Often times, a photograph is a slice of time to be cherished for a lifetime.
The memorable ones often are those taken intimately...perhaps by surprise or by orchestration.
Ultimately, those are the ones we cherish the most!

Mother and Son time, in Toronto!

As a mother, it is often a challenge to spend quality time with both my sons. As they are getting older, I see the importance of giving each child individual attention. Seeing as my youngest is the quiet, introverted of the two, he is often "ignored" and least likely to gain my attention. My eldest son, first born and gifted with a strong personality, is demanding of attention and interactions. Add to the mix the life of a single parent, one quickly realizes the challenge to set some semblance of balance in the household.
Fear not, it can be done...

I decided to fly with my youngest to Toronto for four days, to celebrate my sister's birthday, her dog "Happy's" birthday and still manage to spend some one on one time with my kidlink.
Clearly, one still needs to multi-task for best results!!

I am happy to report that I learned a lot interacting with my son. As quiet and discreet as he may be in our busy household, I discovered that he loves to talk intimately about things in his life, issues about being in a divorced household, sharing his interests ( now that no one else is competing for my attention), having a voice ( and at times a loud one at that!). Most of all, I was shocked to see how little he is given choices back home. During our trip, he was astonished when asked simple questions like what do you want to eat, where do you want to eat, what movie do you wish to see, what would you like to visit today?

As a mother, it's a rude awakening. My son blossomed on this trip. We both realised how easy it is to let the quiet one in the family go unnoticed.

Together, we roamed the streets of Yorkville, discovering The Royal Ontario Museum. My little guy soaked up The Natural History Museum. We spent three hours roaming the multi-level complex with HIM in mind. He chose his path, he chose where we lingered, what we read, where we discussed. I stood in wonder noticing how MUCH he knew about our world, about history...he is a walking wealth of knowledge!! A proud moment for this mom.

Along the way, I discovered with bright eyes that he has an eye for fashion. This little guy enjoyed window shopping along Bloor Avenue. He saw this princess eyeing a purse store. It didn't take him long before we entered the store and he began roaming the aisles scanning the purses and picking one up. "Mama, check this out! It will look great on you this Spring!"

When did THAT happen? When did this little guy develop an interest in fashion? The shop keeper was stunned and quickly realized that this kid was more likely to seal the sale than she ever could. I walked out with a canary yellow, fine leather purse, accessorised with a matching wallet....just in time for SPRING!

I wasn't all that shocked to see that along with his EYE for fashion, he has an EYE for composition. He grabbed my SLR and soon began fiddling with the features, snapping away at landscapes, Happy's mutt face, and people! I am not photogenic and hate most photographs taken of me...BUT....am proud to say this little guy took some awesome shots of his MAMA. When did that happen???

Meal times were perfect opportunities to chat and talk intimately about issues that trouble him at school or at home. He had a voice! He noticed he had undivided attention. He had an audience.

Moral of the story, as a mother we have telling jobs raising our kids to the best of our abilities.

Never mind clothing them, feeding them and tucking them into bed...I was reminded at how important it is to listen to our kids, give each child an opportunity to choose, decide without the circus-like behaviour of the regular household. Most of all, the quiet ones need our ATTENTION the most. It's too easy to let them slip away!!! Way too easy...

Loyalty

What is loyalty and why is it so hard to find, in our day and age?

Loyalty, also called allegiance or truth, is faithfulness or a devotion to a person or cause.

The definition sounds warm and fuzzy. It allows you to show a person or a cause that THEY matter, that they are chosen amongst a group of others.

Our society is drowning with all sorts of loyalty programs and we are bombarded with messages preaching us to nurture the sacred bonds or relations we share with close friends, significant others, family members, colleagues and employers.

In essence, we are reminded of the importance of showing allegiance to a chosen, special being or cause.

Yet as a friend most recently put it, our current reality is that of a society whose social fabric is deteriorating rapidly. Ethics, morals and standards are few and far between. It almost appears as if it's each man for his own.

Medical cures on this planet are not discovered by ONE.

Inventions are not created by ONE.

Networking is unsuccessful all by one's lonesome.

We need each other.

It's the nature of the animal kingdom.

So why is it that in our current times, with things moving as fast as they are, mankind has yet to figure this out. Team building, networking, making friendships should be treated with a sense of allegiance.

Find ways to respect the union or tie or connection. Nurture that relation with loyalty and avoid taking it for granted by taking stupid risks or putting selfish needs in the forefront.

Let me ask you this, in our MOST disposable world, what is one's motivation to stick around folks who take some for granted, feed some to wolves or are self-involved at all times, all in the name of moving ahead regardless of who one hurts in the process?

Heated Yoga

This princess from the Caspian Sea is a wee bit high strung. LIES. Alright, I will confess to being highly high strong. Truths! Sitting in peace, watching my mind’s eye, breathing to reach a deep relaxation takes EFFORT. A lot of it. Mix in issues with flexibility since childhood and one can quickly understand the logic behind searching, finding and grasping for peaceful times, moments and aids.


Unlike some folks on this planet, I have chosen to steer clear from lorazepam or alcohol to chill the nerves and relax my soul. Sure a glass of red is nice, but the effects only last for so long. As for my lack of flexibility, I will confess to regular massotherapy to release tense muscles.

The past two weeks I have been searching for a place where I would feel at ease with my lack of flexibility in public while embracing inner love and acceptance for who I am. Tall order if you ask me. Would this be a good time to mention I am a perfectionist; it goes against my grain to be one with my limitations in yoga, while I see people fold and contort in shapes I didn’t realize were humanly possible. Yes, I am listening to the flow of messages from my instructor to be forgiving, kind, open and ONE with where I am at. I am not.

It’s a process. Like everything else in life. I found a cute studio in NDG, highly touted by many followers. The reception staff is positive, kind and informative. The locker area is clean, with a bare minimum facility. A few studios offering different types of yoga in a heated room, with cork style flooring and mirrors on one side and window panes on the other. Once again a minimalist approach with few visible distractions to allow for one to relax, release and breathe.

Thus far, I have attended two classes. The heated element in yoga is a challenge. You are not quite sure how much or how little to wear. As a neophyte, you walk in as you would for a dance class. You place your mat on the cork floor and sit while watching all walks of life enter the room. Men don’t like to wear shirts. Just bottoms. Wow. A single girl can get used to that. Some ladies wear stringy tops and short SHORT bottoms. I am a visual being. It’s a lot of skin. Nice tattoos. Nice definition on men and women. Nice toe nails. Nice nape. Focus Princess!!! Focus on breathing! Soften your tongue and cheeks while you attempt at contorting in ways you didn’t know were possible. Too many distractions.

Twenty minutes into the class, sweat begins to pour down from the tip of one’s hair follicle all the way down to one’s toe. Breathe. The scent in the room changes. Why don’t some wear deodorant? Why won’t that man wear a shirt to catch some of his drippings? Why won’t she wipe the puddles of sweat near me? Focus on the pose at hand, Princess. One pose extends the arm a wee bit further than one is used to. Oh no, was that a GLOB of someone’s sweat that flung on my mat? This is intimate. I don’t even know your name?

I went a second time. To be fair, of course. This time it was a smaller studio with an intimate group of men and women with a hands-on instructor who clearly takes pride in her craft. I liked her teaching style. I liked that she quickly glanced at the newbies who were not as flexible as the regulars. I liked that she came by and offered alternate poses to make it less challenging and more feasible. She individualized her teaching. I liked that. I appreciated it.

Sadly, the sweat factor was worse. Buckets of sweat on either side of mats by the time the twenty minute mark hit. In some instances, as I tried to breathe and accept the tension I was feeling while creating space, I focused on feet. How many folks in this room have plantar warts? Are they treating it? Does it really matter? Do I want to walk around barefoot? I love walking around barefoot. I love the cool feel of the ground, or sand between my toes. I am not loving this sweaty cork floor.

I will go a third time. To be fair, once again. Perhaps, I will embrace this experience and become one with my PAIN. Breathe. Release. Create space.

Meantime, I have questions. In India, where the practice of yoga began, did the yogis wear sexy LULULEMONs? Did the men and women dress in minimal clothing? Are there mirrors in yoga studios in Mumbai? That being asked, if we are picking and choosing what we take from other cultures, why haven’t we thought of adding a better ventilation system in our Western World and a solution to this sweaty drippy mess. I like saunas. I like steam rooms. I do believe in detoxification. I love an intense workout where am sweating like mad. The proximity of people and the visuals while profusely sweating are not inviting to me. Bikram yoga is definitely out of the question too, for this little lady.

Perhaps, just a regular yoga class will do. Hot stone massage is a whole other story. Bring it on!

Namaste.