Hug your children, for God's sake HUG THEM!!!

So why the fury in the title?
I guess I should start by saying that my maternal instincts were always naturally strong. I had intuitive common sense if you will, about raising my boys. I didn't need those "What to Expect" books to know the relevance and importance of hugging your children, reading to them, bathing them, grooming them and so on and so forth.

So why am I bringing this up now?
Simple. I may have been naturally GIFTED to nurture my sons the right way, to allow them to become loving, nurturing, self-confident men who will most likely NOT fear commitment or love of another woman. They will have had the good foundation to nurture their healthy unions with their respective, significant others and God willing their children too. They know the true meaning of roots, stability and love! Those three factors govern their daily existence and make them the lovely humans they are today.
So pat on the back for the Caspian Princess for a job well done!!!! (Alright, I admit to this brag fest...But I feel I deserve it!!)

That being said, my dating life has somewhat been an interesting and eye-opening experience. In the last four years, I would say more than half of my dates have had significant issues with commitment, focus, and drive to pursue whole hearted a relationship. In most cases, one or both parents were MIA, or void of emotions, or too self-centered to nurture these men, while they were growing up and learning about healthy interactions, dynamics and being loved.

Granted there has got to be a moratorium set out to end the blaming factor. I mean seriously, is it normal that by the time you reach 50, you find yourself still saying things like "I yearned for the love of a parent" or "I never had the lasting love of a friendship" or "a lover never stayed long enough around for me to feel safe". At which point, do you stop whining about what you never had and be proactive about what you can now do to change things for the better???

Then again, maybe these poor,LOST,souls are doomed to search for an ideal,fictitious and imaginative love only found in poetry and romance novels. Come on PEOPLE, roll up your sleeves and mingle with the dirt...that is where ALL the fun ingredients that make for a meaningful connection are!!!! Stop blaming YOUR PARENTS!!!!

Oh and parents, PLEASE hug your little tykes to death, stroke their hair and squeeze them to bits, so that one day, their significant other does NOT prick some VOODOO doll in hope to wish you PAIN!!
Love your kids and hug them, PLEASE!

Kangaroo tasting...in Quebec City??? Poor Kippy!

This past weekend, a friend and I headed to Quebec City to discover this old gem of a place, with a Euro flair right in North America. Charming,magical,friendly and EXPENSIVE a place....just like some places in Europe!

The harbour front in Quebec City boasts beautiful catamarans, sail boats and motor boats, with happy folks sipping and noshing on yummy treats while basking away, staring at the architectural backdrop of Old Quebec.
A good life, indeed.

My friend and I meandered the walk ways, passing street buskers, entertainers and live bands. One zone had some semblance of a beer garden in Munich, though tall trees and wooded trails were MIA. We both sat down and decided to enjoy this band playing tunes of Jack Johnson.

Now how does my poor Kippy fit into all this?
My friend, who is a take charge kind of guy and fully aware of my Kosher, granted loose dietary laws, says "how about I go inside the tent and pick us some treats to eat?"
Being a control freak, especially when it comes to my nutritional intake, I allowed him to run off and "surprise me". He walked away while chiming "don't worry, I know...no pork or ham or bacon".

Upon his return, he handed me a plate with what seemed like a "kebab wrap". I was somewhat touched, as I thought he had my Middle Eastern heritage in mind, kebabs and all, that is.
He dove right into his wrap while I kept staring at mine.
I smelled it, and discovered the scent was unusual.
I stared at it some more and asked "so what is this?".
He quickly answered, in between bites, "just eat it".
Being a bad listener, I kept staring at it.
Then I nagged him "you sure it's not pork or something, cuz it sure don't look like beef or chicken?"
With a full mouth, my friend mumbled "it's kangaroo!"
This time, I stared right at him, with the full notion that he enjoys yanking my chain.
I smiled and said "very funny".

Then, bravely, I took a bite of my mystery wrap and tasted the dry, chewy concoction.
Vile!!! No other words to describe it.
Politely I thanked him, handed him the sandwich which he happily ate.
As I was heading back to the tent, he said to me "don't forget to stop by the kangaroo station". I responded with a "ha ha"!

Once inside the tent, I saw many food stalls. One had wild boar sausages, one had deer meet sausages...
Low and behold there was KIPPY, the poor Kanga.
Roo was most likely in my previous wrap.
I found myself hopping back to my table, with empty hands and stunned-rounded eyes, mostly in disbelief that I tasted POOR KIPPY and wondering how does KIPPY fit into my poor KOSHER map! Should I ask my Rabbi? Should I email him my question?
My friend, on the other hand, happily sported his cynical smile!

Does Kippy have hooves? (Kosherly speaking, of course)

Can we talk about Dr. LAURA? Please?

I heard it on the news today that "famous Dr. Laura" will be quitting talk radio...
Not soon enough if you ask me.

Apparently, she was caught last week using the N word with some black,female caller who is married to a white man. She called in because she was annoyed that every time a friend or family member came over, she would have to hear comments like do black folks do that etc...It bugged her.

Dr. Laura responded with those comments are not racist. In fact, she said that her bodyguard is an African American. Dr. L was interested in a game of B Ball and here was the exchange between her and her bodyguard: "Listen white men can't jump. I want you on my team."
She tells the caller that in her opinion "that was not a racist comment". As an added bonus, she says that the African Americans voted for Obama only because he is black.
And to make matters worse, she goes on to say how if one turns on HBO to see some black comedy, the N word is used freely while folks with low melanin using that same word are called racists?
She was apparently making a philosophical point!?!??

Deep breath.
Sigh.
Questions running through my head.
Is she for real? Did she really say that out loud? As a Jewess who should understand persecution, does she NOT get it? Are we really going to miss her? Is she all THAT and a loaf of wonder bread?

Here is my opinion:
Has entertainment in this world gone so off the deep end that we need people like Dr. Laura with her narrow minded, bigoted thoughts to be diffused all over the air ways? She reminds me of a clean cut version of Archy Bunker. Do we really want our society to be ingesting and pondering on Dr. Laura's limited thoughts?

A day at an Alpaca Ranch...

On Saturday afternoon, my relatives and I headed to my cousin`s alpaca ranch not far from a gold mining town in Julian. Upon arrival to this 14 acre property, you are greeted by close to 47 alpacas, Tika the Anatolian Shepperd which can also double as a pony with TEETH, four chickens, two moody cats named Ginger and Cotton tail and the friendly neighborhood coyotes. Thank God they were chilling in the mountains until the stars came out.

Walking through the ranch, you can't help but notice how relaxed you quickly feel. Tall trees, the scent of nature, the silence of city life, the gentle sounds of nature, the fluffy alpacas roaming in their gated space while eating hay and rolling on the ground enlighten your senses.

My sons decide to climb into the female alpaca zone and are greeted by Vanessa the friendly one of the bunch. Rub her on her neck and belly, and you will soon experience a hug from the furry creature. Human and alpaca necks entwine and all seems right with the world.

We were blessed with a feast to make our ancestors, homo-erectus, proud! All sorts of beef treats on the grill, ribs, tenderloin and delicious baked potatoes on steroids with farmer's butter and finely diced chives to please the senses.

Having a full fledged adolescent in my world, my son managed to convince my cousin to show him how alpacas breed and so with an audience around the stud, my cousin lassoed Daisy the female alpaca and delivered her to do the deed!!! A sight indeed!
It made National Geographic TV channel seem like child`s play. To some extent it appeared a violent act. Five minutes into it, we began to walk away while teasing my poor cousin with "is this what YOU do all day long?"

Once the first star came out, the kids went on a bumpy tractor ride to scout the ranch. My youngest son was happy to be bringing home a sample of coyote spinal bone in a Ziploc bag. Show and tell on the first day of school will sure help him stand out amongst his peers.

As we began to make our way home, one last look at the sky and you are showered by a slew of bright stars! The kids and I were overjoyed with the experience of it all.

The gift of meeting new faces...

A couple of nights ago, I had the pleasure of finally meeting a virtual friend whom I have known for a year. Online, he portrayed himself as an intellectual, well travelled, well read and somewhat adventurous, thinking outside of the box.
We had "met" online on a dating site and due to our wide geographic location, we didn't pursue it any further, other than a friendship.

Thanks to his Facebook status, I noticed he was going to travel to San Diego around the time I was visiting with relatives. We both agreed to meet face to face, one afternoon when my cousin was kind enough to entertain my boys for the evening.

I was so pleasantly surprised to meet my virtual friend. He looked like his pics, he spoke like his virtual online voice,and the evening went by quite naturally. Reason I am surprised is, that often we are told to be weary of who lurks online. People are fakes, they exude a different personna and create a mirage for the virtual friend.
I am happy to report that my virtual friend was real, his pics were true, his demeanour to be similar to his online activity. So not all virtual friends are a mirage, is my point.

My friend from St-Louis was pleased to see that I too was true to my exchanges...I looked like my pics and my personality was authentic too.
We spent the better part of the afternoon sharing a drink, discovering Torrey Pines Reserve State Park, me in my white Birkies and skirt hiking the trails. It was a sight indeed. We then shared a great meal and this is the part where I had an AHA moment.

Every person that walks into your life brings a gift to your existence. My virtual friend brought me a new sense of adventure. He has this uncanny way of ordering his meal at a restaurant. He empowers the chef to choose his meal for him and surprise him with a feast to grace his eyes and palate.
My virtual friend went on to tell me about his most recent need to experiment life in surprising ways, doing things he would not have necessarily done before...He has eaten a brain stew, zip lined, and is now looking forward to jumping off a plane.

What I took from his tales....leave your heart open to try things on this planet, plan less, experiment more, try new thngs everyday, surprise your instincts as much as you can....LIVE life!

Thank you My Virtual Friend from St-Louis!!!
It was great meeting you face to face.
I have learned a great deal.

facing fears...for some, in California!

My relationship with San Diego goes as far back to when I was fourteen. My dad, had decided he wanted to go visit his brother who lived on the sunny coast...and so we began our crazy, intense road trip to California. To this day, that first trip strengthened my ties to my cousins.

I began going back for my sixteenth birthday and continued on every few years to see them. Communication with them is free flowing; ties are tight; we are there for each other, for things that matter, for special events and for difficult times too.

Since my split, I had stopped going partly because of my mobility issue. Unlike other cities in the States, San Diego has no subway system, has some semblance of a tram, some buses; cabs are expensive and many renegade cabs (meter-less) take full advantage of the situation. Hence the use of a car is a must. Here lies my problem.

Up until this trip, I had never driven out of my comfort zone. Montreal, Vermont area, up North was as far as I would go. Funny thing is I have no issues roaming the streets less travelled around the world, but driving did become an issue in my head.

And so I faced my demons this summer. I rented a car and thought to myself: get over this fear...you love it in San Diego and you need to get past the idea that the X was your means of transport while there!

I am proud to report that I feel empowered and thrilled to drive the highways of San Diego! My boys have noticed the transition from fear, to nervous, to "OMG she's back to her road rage attitude"...Music 90.3 with a Rihanna and Usher, blasting while I meander my way around.

Moral of the story: Face your fears...you will feel overjoyed and elated!